Early Works

It’s All About the Foreplay - 1991 [Essay]

As I was driving in my car this morning, in between carpools, before an early morning sick doctors visit and well after a sleepless night, it hit me like a ton of bricks... When it comes to sex, it's all about the foreplay.  There seems to be an epidemic of Women who supposedly, all of a sudden, have lost their desire for sex? First of all I don't believe the idea of this sudden epidemic, I just think that we are more verbal with our likes and dislikes these days. 

There have been panels of famous psychiatrists and psychologist, health guru's and healers who claim to have all the answer for us, but again, I say "It's all About the foreplay."  Let me elaborate on that, Women work, and work hard, we work in the home and outside the home, and trust me that's not to take away from our male counterparts, but when I say it's all about the foreplay I want you to understand how difficult it is to switch gears from Mom to unmitigated Sex Goddess, we need time to switch into that mode.

To make it a little clearer, those l0 or so minutes before actual intercourse that get you standing at attention aren't cuttin' it for us! The average Stay at Home Mom rises either with or before her male companion, in order to turn on the early morning news (we usually listen while we work) brush our teeth and get our child(ren) up and ready for the day.  Some of us cook breakfast, others pour it into a bowl or put it in a toaster, it's all breakfast one in the same! We throw on some clothes and help to dress the lil' ones, we fix lunches and snacks, we make sure backpacks are packed, we hand out all verbal and written reminders to our guys and see them on their way, we walk our children to the bus, or carpool them to school, which gives us the pleasure of tending to at least 3 other children for a short while. We then come back home and begin our work at home, which varies of course, but it's usually something like; cleaning up the morning mess and whatever housework you can squeeze in, dry cleaning, post office, paying bills, grocery shopping, fueling up the vehicle, Doctor's appointments, making and returning phone calls, balancing the check book, taking dinner out for that night and maybe even start cooking it. Then it's time for the children to arrive or for you to pick them up.  You get BACK home, help with homework, talk a little about the day they've had, maybe break up a fight or two, or three! Then while they play outside for a bit, you straighten up the afternoon mess.  Before you know it it's "Dinner Time!" Hubby/Significant other usually gets home around now. While you either bathe or supervise bath time, read to them or have them read to or with you, make em' pray (for themselves and your sanity) and THEN..... it's finally lights out.  You pick up (AGAIN!!!) clean up dinner mess, make your way to the shower or bath, put on your night clothes, climb into bed, drift off to be awakened by maybe a hand up your shirt or further south!!! YlKES!! Did I miss something?

Here's the deal, we haven't thought about ourselves all day, and even now, this usually isn't how we want our love making to begin, so.....again.....I say "It's All about the foreplay" And guys, by saying this, over and over again, I mean, it should start that morning, maybe get up with us and make us a cup of our favorite coffee, tea, hot chocolate or whatever, pack a backpack or two, grab a few of the errands you can maybe help out with on your way to work, i.e., post office stuff, dry cleaning, when you come home in the evening, check over some homework, or maybe set the table, hell, put the ice in the glasses, help is help damnit! have a little conversation with us, after all, for most of the day we've been talking about Pokemon, Barney, the Disney movie of the week and who hit whom on the playground, run the bath water, or supervise the bath, maybe even read the bedtime story, what it does for us is let us know ALL DAY LONG that while we are thinking of you and trying to meet your needs, you were thinking of us and trying to meet our needs too, If you really want to lay it on thick, run our bath water or set our shower, give us a little time to unwind from "Mommy" mode and become that Goddess you're waiting for! And when we get there, remind us of what great Mommy's and lovers we are, after all, at home, we don't get reviews. 

So you see, foreplay takes all day and trust me when I remind, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FOREPLAY!

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